In this live-action and stop motion episode, the Aqua Teens are contractually obligated to hawk Honest Abe Lincoln's Hot Links brand beef jerky. When Meatwad's mouth mysteriously disappears, Hot Links mascot Jungle Cat Honest Abe forces the Aqua Teens to locate it. Abe and the Aqua Teens sally forth to Rex, Georgia and do battle with a dangerous Christian robot in order to retrieve the missing mouth from the clutches of a lackadaisical stop motion animator named Toby.

Carl and Meatwad's excursion to the cinema takes a detour when they accidentally excise the colon of a hirsute anthropomorphic party bus while burglarizing catalytic converters. Frylock faces a moral dilemma when he must use his online education to save either the wicked Hairy Bus or its twin, the saintly Flesh Train.

Frylock shrinks Carl down to size in order to infiltrate his beehive and determine why the bees have stopped producing honey. Carl ignores his objective and instead becomes a tyrant who commands the obsequious bees to do his bidding.

At long last Meatwad discovers the wonders of friendship. Unfortunately he falls in with the wrong crowd, a cocaine addicted amateur porn crew and their star actress Jubilee (based on the cast of Dora the Explorer). Frylock races against time to prevent Meatwad from losing his virginity on film while Carl and Master Shake vie to take Meatwad's place in a kinky ménage à trois scene.

After being missing for days, Master Shake returns home (for some reason, using a tape recorder that only says "Hi, there's the guy I wanted to see" to speak). Frylock mentions that he and Meatwad last saw Shake at the mall where Meatwad pleaded to get a pet rabbit, Master Shake then reveals he's brought the rabbit home to give to Meatwad (despite that it's unconscious). After Meatwad thanks Shake for the pet rabbit, Master Shake states "Christ has risen once again" in a deep-toned, raspy voice, causing Frylock and Meatwad to realize that he isn't the real Master Shake (the latter not caring in the slightest). Meatwad goes next door to show Carl his new rabbit, both of which suspects that the rabbit's dead, so Carl suggests Meatwad cut off its foot to use for a good luck charm.

Meanwhile, Frylock confronts the imposter-Master Shake as to what he did with his "dumbass roommate", to which he explains that he's actually a rabbit named Dr. Zord who drugged Master Shake at the mall so he could swap his mind with Master Shake's. Meatwad and carl discover this when they saw off the rabbit's foot with a circ-saw and realize that the rabbit has Shake's voice (who persistently denies being a rabbit). Dr. Zord brings the Aqua Teens and Carl to the mall that night to demonstrate how he transferred Shake's mind with his: He and Master Shake urinated into the mall fountain at the same time while maintaining eye-contact, which caused lightning to strike the fountain and swap their minds. Frylock, not believing the story in the slightest, agrees to perform this experiment with Dr. Zord's henchman, Randy the Spider, which causes their minds to swap bodies.

Astounded by what's happened, Meatwad agrees to perform the experiment with Dr. Zord's other henchman, Lionel the hamster, which results in all the Aqua Teens being mind-swapped with animals. Dr. Zord then exclaims that his plan was to mind-swap his and his henchmen's minds with humans so that they could collect unemployment, which comes undone when Frylock (in spider-form) bites Dr. Zord between the eyes, resulting in him dying due to Master Shake's extreme spider-bite allergy. At this point, Master Shake has alerted mall security of everyone's presence, causing Randy and Lionel to runaway and sending Carl into a panic since he's been arrested for public urination at the mall. Frylock then convinces Carl to perform the experiment with him (saying mall security will never suspect a spider of stealing those denim jackets that he and Randy were raiding), resulting in Carl's mind going into the spider's body and Frylock's mind going into Carl's body.

When mall security arrives, they capture the three animals (who're actually Master Shake, Meatwad, and Carl) and ban Frylock/Carl from the mall (although he gets to keep the jackets). Months later on Christmas Eve, Master Shake, Meatwad, and Carl are on sale when they see Frylock/Carl and notice that he's in shape, nicely groomed, and has a smoking-hot girl. When Frylock/Carl sees the three animals, he immediately retreats with his girlfriend (not wanting to give-up the life he's worked hard to get), enraging Master Shake and Carl. Meatwad is then placed in a cage with a Cobra, who eats him.

Carl's mother, Dolores Brutananadilewski, is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, forcing Carl to convert his home into an ad hoc hospice. Carl copes with his emotional pain by purchasing material goods such as the pro football premium touchdown package on his mother's credit card. To Carl's chagrin, Frylock discovers an unorthodox cure for cancer which saves Dolores' life but transforms her into a South American warrior who has control over rats.

Frylock creates a virtual reality game to train for an expedition to an ocean planet inhabited by pernicious francophone bivalves. In a heartbreaking dinner table conversation, Frylock reveals that he is dying and that the ocean planet Chlamydia holds the key to his salvation. When Master Shake discovers his death is also imminent, he composes a bucket list that entails copulating fifty times. Shake receives moral support and Susan B. Anthony dollar coins from Carl, who schemes to misappropriate Frylock's power source for his own financial gain. In the end, the quest to save Frylock and Shake's lives from fizzling out falls on the shoulders of the lowly Meatwad, who matures and learns the true meaning of family.

Master Shake and Meatwad view last week's grand finale on their television set. Shake seeks eternal life by emulating the life of Jesus Christ while Carl and Frylock gain immortality via a mystical shampoo. Summoned by the smell of the Ceaseless brand shampoo, the ennui-filled Christopher Lambert joins his deathless brethren in repeatedly committing suicide. Ultimately Lambert and the Aqua Teens find out that everlasting life isn't all it's cracked up to be.