Pragmatism and humor

Evans' judicial philosophy was marked by pragmatism, an approach well-served at the appellate level by his previous experience as a trial judge. He is particularly known for his sense of humor, and his willingness and ability to weave lighthearted remarks into his judicial opinions. Perhaps the best known example of this was the judge's opinion in United States v. Murphy,^[4] in which the following footnote was included:

The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."

Judge Richard Posner was also once the subject of Evans's wit, when he stated:

Football fans know the sickening feeling: your team scores a big touchdown but then a penalty flag is tossed, wiping out the play. Universal Bancard Systems, Inc. knows that feeling firsthand after seeing not one, but two big touchdowns called back. The referee who waved off the first—a $ 7.8 million verdict—and then the second—a $ 4.1 million jury verdict after a second trial—was the Honorable Richard A. Posner, the circuit's chief judge who in this case was wearing, by designation, the robe of a district judge. Like the instant replay official, we now review the decisions of our colleague—using the voluminous record rather than a television monitor and recognizing that our review in 1999 of a case that began in 1993 is a far cry from instant.^[5]

In another memorable quote, Evans described a case as "gummed up from the get-go",^[6] describing a case where petitioner Johnson lost his chance to be heard in federal Habeas Corpus (and thus dooming him to serve the remainder of his two consecutive life sentences) because of a delay caused by the state court which made petitioner Johnson's otherwise "properly filed" application for state review technically out of time.^[7]

An often-cited district court decision in an admiralty case from 1984 showed Evans' use of humor to veil his impatience with arguments he thought invalid:

[L]ike the Phantom Dutchman, this case has sailed once again into my harbor. The plaintiffs request that I vacate the judgment dismissing their action. Three reasons are given suggesting that I may have "lost my bearings" in reaching my earlier decision.... The plaintiffs must not have heard the foghorns which were blaring at them during the oral argument and in my earlier decision.... The plaintiffs' attempts to recast the facts are unpersuasive. Indeed, they lead only to the suspicion that had plaintiffs' counsel been at the helm of the INAGUA ESPANA, their sense of direction may have prevented the goods from reaching Scotland in the first place, seawater-soaked or no.^[8]

In Crawford v. Marion County Election Board (2007), Evans dissented when Posner, joined by Diane S. Sykes, upheld Indiana's voter ID law.^[9][10] The Seventh Circuit's judgment was then upheld by a fractured majority of the Supreme Court of the United States.^[11]

According to the technology website CNET.com, Evans became the first federal judge to cite a YouTube video, in a published opinion he authored July 9, 2007.^[12] Evans rejected an insurer's malpractice lawsuit against its attorney, warning that if there were liability "litigation would become more of a blood sport than it already is. Lawyers would be even more obsessive about irrelevant and tedious details. No good could come of it."^[13]